Dirty tricks to prove a point

In days gone by I used to know a bloke called Adam. Adam was very set on the idea that he should only eat Heinz baked beans, because shops own brands were cheap and horrid. Adam and I were at John’s flat one evening, and I think Adam must have fallen asleep after ranting on about how he could always tell the difference between the “real thing” Heinz and other, cheaper brands.

While Adam was sleeping, John got an empty can of Heinz, carefully peeled off the label and ultra carefully stuck it round a full can of a really really cheap brand of no frills type baked beans. When Adam woke up we heated the beans up and gave him them in a bowl.

It was so funny! Adam sat there munching on these cheap-as-cheap beans, eulogising about how delicious they were, and how much better they were than any others because they were Heinz! He was so cross when we started rolling around in fits of giggles, tore the Heinz label off and showed him what he had been eating. This was the guy who said he could always tell the difference! Of course, this is very interesting psychology – he tasted what he thought was in the tin.

Fast forward a decade or two, and now I am far more cultivated. I am sure I can tell the difference between Heinz and cheap baked beans. Now I buy PROPER beans: Heinz, Branston, although own brands are often OK too. Tesco beans are fine as long as you don’t get the very cheapest ones. But DO NOT get Lidl baked beans! They are DISGUSTING!


P.S. Don’t DARE try this filthy trick on me!


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